Monday, October 31, 2005

Finding Me

Finding me
in the middle of me
but still so far
from who I should be

I look to the sky
but fail to fly
to the stars above
in the pale moonlight

I try to think if I was me
where would i hide, where would I be
to escape what i don't want to face
hiding inside in the middle of me

I derive from the life others see
that something is living, living in me
so I'm alive and that's for sure
but if purpose I have, why the insecurity

why the insecurity
that if i must be more than just me
why the impatience with it all
When this is who I am framed to be

So as i move on finding me
in Christ more than inside of me
I'm finding he is the answer to the end
of making what's inside of me complete

Friday, October 28, 2005

Just love me

Am I the boy
or the man
or just a kid
who thinks he can
be what some think he should be
but who doesnt' feel their heartbeat

Although I try
that doesn't mean I can
become a man
on demand
I need some time to reevaluate
what will be my elusive fate

so as the boy
or as the man
or as the kid
who thinks he can
I'll carry on till I'm carried on
I'll move along till I've moved on

do you love the boy
or do you love the man
or is it the kid
who you think can
be what you think he can be
although the future you can't see

don't love the boy
don't love the man
don't love the kid
who you think can
because what you see just may not be
who I'm designed by my creator to be

I may be
just what you see
but you don't know
so just love me
for who I am
not for what I'll be
for who you see
when you stand beside me

Am I the boy
Am I the man
or just the kid
who thinks he can
I think I know becuase know I see
I see that who I am is just all three

Saturday, October 22, 2005

If there are tears in my eyes

I’ve tried to hide
What I knew was still inside
And I tried run into another’s arms
But it didn’t fill the hole inside
Only she could ever hold me
In a way that made me happy
And seeing her again has hurt me
Helped me, cut me, healed me
Saved me, so gracefully
But then the cut opened up again
As she walked away and then
I cried

So I guess if there are tears in my eyes
Maybe it’s because I’ve loved maybe it’s because I’ve lost
The one that I thought I would hold for a lifetime
But in the end she loved somebody else
And she was just a beautiful, a wonderful space of lost time
But I don’t want to change what happened
I’d take her back in an instant
If she ever changed her mind
Cause I know both searching for something else in life
And I hope that when she finds it I’ll be by her side
But for know I guess I’ll live with tears in my eyes

Is it so wrong to still love her
When she’s heading off to her world again
And I’m not sure if she’ll think of me
When she’s four hours away with friends
But I wish that I could go back
To when we first met
And I wish that I could change
Whatever she didn’t love
About how I treated her
How I showed my love
And I wish with all my heart
For a brand new start
Because right now this heart is breaking
With each breath I’m taking

So I guess if there are tears in my eyes
Maybe it’s because I’ve loved maybe it’s because I’ve lost
The one that I thought I would hold for a lifetime
But in the end she loved somebody else
And she was just a beautiful, a wonderful space of lost time
But I don’t want to change what happened
I’d take her back in an instant
If she ever changed her mind
Cause I know both searching for something else in life
And I hope that when she finds it I’ll be by her side
But for know I guess I’ll live with tears in my eyes

So I guess I should just move on
Instead of crying again
But it’s not easy to be strong
Even though I want to play the man
Because I too have feelings
I too cared and shared
And I have a love inside
That tells me not to despair
And I guess it hurts me more
To think that she will ever care
And to imagine that someday
When I walk out my door she’ll be standing there
The past is dead but not for me
Cause these feelings cannot be buried
Only truth and time will heal me
I don’t think I can fix
The hole in my heart
The rip, from where you stood right next to me
But I guess should try
But a voice inside
Screams to wait, even though there are no signs
A voice screams wait, a voice inside screams love
A voice whispers love
A voice inside says to never give up on love

So I guess if there are tears in my eyes
Maybe it’s because I’ve loved maybe it’s because I’ve lost
The one that I thought I would hold for a lifetime
But in the end she loved somebody else
And she was just a beautiful, a wonderful space of lost time
But I don’t want to change what happened
I’d take her back in an instant
If she ever changed her mind
Cause I know both searching for something else in life
And I hope that when she finds it I’ll be by her side
But for know I guess I’ll live with tears in my eyes

Friday, October 21, 2005

Ashes of the past

Here’s to you
The one I won’t remember
In a minute now
I know I’ll forget

Here’s to you
To the hope of glowing embers
In a minute now
Will fade into ash

I never thought
It would come to this
On the front porch watching
You drive away
As the dust settles
Along this country highway
And I feel alone again

Here’s to you
The one I won’t remember
In a minute now
I know I’ll forget

Here’s to you
To my hope of glowing embers
That in a minute now
Will fade to ash
You’ll become just ashes in the past

There were the good times
That brought us together
Like the naps along that quiet little stream
While sun shown down in little fingers
On your face as we laid beneath trees
There was that time on the rope swing
When we let go and started to fly
And in that moment when I looked into your eyes
I thought I’d never say goodbye

Here’s to you
The one I won’t remember
In a minute now
I know I’ll forget

Here’s to you
To my hope of glowing embers
That in a minute now
Will fade to ash

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The rhythm

Two step to the time and the rhythm
I'll dance to the music of just livin'
In a new day of liberty
With my hope, my security
Assured in the Kingdom to come
Assured in the only one
Knowing that my redeemer liveth
With each breath, life, he giveth

Two step to the time and the rhythm
Dance to the music of just livin'
Hopefully
Assuredly
Blissfully
Awaiting the
Majesty
of the one to come
two step to the rhythm
of God's only son
wait for the time
when he will come

Take a little time

take a little time
to redefine
what you think about life
what you think about lies
in the world today
all the junk they say
the way they play
on my mind, on the way
I define
all the signs
all the lines
that point out of sight
to the left, to the right
and I try with all my might
striving on through the night
but the lines divide
so I'm changing sides
once again, lost in life
lost in play, each and every day
it's like life's a charade
maybe you can relate maybe differentiate
between life
and the game
that we play, on ourselves
as we sit on the shelves
of the toy store we call life
and pretentiously fight
about who's right or wrong
why don't we just move on
past the boxes we live in
because we each want to have an end
In and of ourselves
Never wanting to help
those who don't have a friend
those who want their life to end
so are we lost or just afraid
to stand up to the gaze
of the scorners who mock
the ones who dare to knock
on life's door and embark
on a trip to the start
of where dreams and life part
this is where my heart
yearns, to go to
to stand on the cliff of life
and jump off to never land
where I'll know the truth

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

When it works, When it doesn't

when it works
when it doesn't
when it's meant
when it wasn't
what if love was meant to be
but were blind and couldn't see
passing her by with the blink of a eye
until you look back only to decide
that she was it
so beautiful
that it was love
so wonderful
Only now is when you see
that you weren't satisfied in your mind
you thought more you could find
but you were blind to it all
blind to how far you could fall
from her eyes, from her lips
from her thought, from her kiss
from the look; of love in her eyes
which is what you miss, you realize
but sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't
there are times it's meant
there were times it wasn't
rose glasses are what we wear in love
or so they say
yet when push comes to shove
and the glasses break; the rose tint remains to stay
when it's meant
when it wasn't
sometimes it works
sometimes it doesn't

When I looked at you

Just another day
in my life
just sittin' around wondering why
does the world have to spin so fast
why I feel like everytime I catch it
it runs away, and I'm chasing again
then you walked by
I guess I kinda sighed
everything slowed down
then stopped, as you looked into my eyes
and I said

Just stop and stand
don't move at all
just the sight of you
makes me lose control
I want you to be there
for the rest of my life
If you'll hold me, I'll know I'm home
when I looked into your eyes
the world started spinnin' slower
I'm catchin' up not gettin' older
cause the world just stopped
when I looked at you

Friday, October 07, 2005

Life's a waterfall

Life's a waterfall
as the river rushes on
to the oceans call
so we all come together
as together we fall

God is over all
he guides each stream
and fills them all
and he brings us all together
in the life waterfall

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Falling slowly, falling faster

falling slowly
falling faster
than the day
before yesterday

falling slower now it seems
until I awake from my dream
falling faster in the daylight
than in the dreams of the night

falling slowly
yet I still believe
falling faster
than the day
before yesterday

life's a fall
that's how I see it
with each daybreak
a new sprawl
onto the pavement I take

life's a slope
that's how I see it
one more chance to roll
without hope
an ever moving prison without parole

falling slowly
yet I still believe
falling faster
than the day
before yesterday

Life's a freefall
that's how I see it
we're always dropping
even though you don't feel it
always seeing the forest below
always falling but never able to go
anywhere
even though i think I'm falling down
maybe the mind simply confounds
my sense of falling, falling towards no ground

what If I am simply standing still
on a rock on a hill
and feeling as though there is no ground
and that I'm falling, falling down

so what if I can never explain
this sense of life this sense of pain
of falling slowly and still standing still
on a rock on a hill
without hope and with a falling void to fill
maybe I never will

falling slowly
yet I still believe
if my eyes do not decieve
falling faster
than the day
the day before yesterday

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

It went like this *snap*

It went like this *snap*
you went like that *snap*
you were gone before I could react

I thought it was love
you thought it was nothing
before I could catch you
you took off runnin', runnin'

It went like this *snap*
you went like that *snap*
in the blink of an eye
before I could react
I'd give anything
to have you back

You were my all
my little lady
my precious one
my pretty baby
I guess I let you down
and so you let me fall
face down into the cold hard ground

It went like this *snap*
you went like that *snap*
in the blink of an eye
before I could react
I'd give anything
to have you back

so what's with you
and you and him
I thought he
was just a friend
or so you said
or is that just what I heard
heard you say the f word

but if it's to late for me
then listen all my friends

it'll come like this *snap*
she'll go like that *snap*
in the blink of an eye
before you can react
she'll have you wishin'
you had her back

Sunday, October 02, 2005

If my life was less hectic

If my life was less hectic
then no one could enjoy the antics
of my actions, reactions or lack thereof
and thus I believe that hectic is sent from above
to bring out the best in some
and the worst in all
to be for some a stepping stone
and for others a wall

yet sometimes it seems that hectic
is a self inflicted disease of the eclectic
who grasp for everything and fail to find
who reach for something only to be denied
by their own patterns and addictions of the mind
which some have never defied

If my life was less hectic
then I might become dialectic
and miss the joy of the eclectic
which comes in the midst of the hectic

.....hmmm...not a big fan of titles......

As the mountains sing
and the earth rejoices
As the waters chime a new melody
everyone now raise, raise your voices
to creations shouts of His majesty
and as the earth rejoice
everyone now raise, raise your voices

Hale, Halelujah
You alone are King
Hale, Halelujah
to You alone I sing
Hale, Halelujah
all glory to You I bring
Halelujah, Hale, Halelujah
Halelujah, Hale, Halelujah

raise your voices