Saturday, December 31, 2005

:)

when I found you
and you found me
we found each other
in the night I held you tight
we couldn't see the future
I don't we cared enough wonder
about tomorrow

cause it was you and me
on a futon watching
Pirates of the Caribbean
and I was being
just like a pirate
stealing that first kiss
oh, maybe it wasn't right
but it felt right that night

when I found you
and you found me
we played love
like maybe we wouldn't ever be
us
but it was all a foolish notion
I should've known better than
to play with the love potion
but I guess it's in the blood to go stealing
just like that night when it was

you and me
on a futon watching
pirates of the Caribbean
and I was being
just like a pirate
stealing that first kiss
oh, maybe it wasn't right
but it still feels right tonight

so I've found you
and you've found me
I think I can finally be
free in love for once in my lifetime
not tied down by a stereotype
so I'll be me and you be you
we'll dance in the rain to our own tune
lay and count the stars
paint silly pictures
stare at your ceiling
laugh about life and where it's leading
but in my mind I'll always remember
the first time

it was you and me
on a futon watching
pirates of the Caribbean
and I was being
just like a pirate
stealing that first kiss
oh, maybe it wasn't right
but then whatever is
all I know is that it still feels right
tonight

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

There's a pain that chokes

There’s a pain that chokes
In your throat
And won’t come out
It’s the feeling of doubt
And hurt that should be gone
But instead it’s still there
It’s been there all along
Even though I tried to hide it all
Tried to run away and crawl
Into another’s arms
But it was all fake
Maybe it was a way to hide hate
But I’m past the hate
I think I’m past the fake
But I still feel what I can never say
It’s just a pain that’s there
Will it ever go away
Somewhere it chokes in my throat
It’s almost like its something
That can never be spoken about
Because its real but not
Sometimes I wish it would rot
And die away but somehow it stays
Leading me on and on in ways
That I can only imagine
How my old pain is driving
The way I live today
Why I choose what I choose
How I live why I’m afraid to lose
The new love that I’ve found
am I alone in this crisis
No I think maybe you’re here too
And I’m standing here feeling
Just like you
Not the love that we had
But an ache and the sad
Thoughts of what it was
When we were we
And we laughed at the world
Cause we always thought we’d be
Together to face the storms of life
Instead we’re now facing different lights
Two different lives that used to be one
Whatever happened doesn’t matter anymore it’s done
So I’ve moved on finally
Found love after my failures to find me
So now the memories are not chasing
And I’m not running cause I’ve defeated the pain
The fear of it all,
my failures
how I caused my own fall
so whatever I’m feeling it’s not the same
not the same way I felt the pain
the day that it all went down
but that’s all over now
I’ve found me now
I’m not feeling the love for you anymore
But I’m feeling something I can’t express
I just want to stress
That I will never be able to say
What I want about this
This vague pain
But know that wherever you go
I will still care
And if you need me
If I can I will be there
Because of this pain
That gets caught in my throat
And makes me choke
But I can’t get it out
Of my mouth
But I’m sure that these words
Never need to be said
But I know I’ll carry them
With me till I’m dead

I still remember

I still feel the pain
when I see you today
or I hear that song on the radio
and I still think what a shame
but I don't love you, anymore
is just that my heart doesn't
know any better than to remember

every little thing that i didn't say
but should have
every little time you made me cry
and made me laugh
It might've been me
It might've been you
but the fact is we are through
somethings are better left unsaid
I know we'll never be us again
But I still remember
because my heart
doesn't know any better

It feels there's a piece of me in you
when you walk by I wonder
if your piece in me calls to you, too
I still can't erase my memories
my mind's not a chalkboard,
It won't erase easily
But I'm moving on, and I think I see
the end of the tunnel
well you still remember me
well I don't love you, anymore
it's just that my heart
doesn't know any better
than to remember

Every little thing I didn't say
but should have
Every little time you made me cry
made me laugh
It might've been me
It might've been you
but the fact is we are through
somethings are better left unsaid
I know we'll never be us again
but I still remember
because my heart
doesn't know any better

Monday, December 05, 2005

Life

are all lives really the same
or does happiness revolve around fame
or money or maybe just both
but what if the green is just a big hoax
and the happy ones aren't on mtv
or the top ten bachelors weekly
then what happens to the worlds twist
on life when what every child's wish
is really a nightmare
of having the press follow you and stare
at every move you make
and it's all so fake
because money can get anything that you want
but it's really a battle field and you bear the brunt
of it all because you're losing yourself to the crowds calls
and who you really are just crumbles and falls
short of all the dreams of perfect humanity
and suddenly you wake up and scream
because you're further now then you thought you'd be
from anything you wanted from life and sanity
you've got no real friends no family life
take that back, you don't even have a wife
and you're child's in daycare while you're pursuing
this career and the fame while life you are losing
it all to the cries of the people who want more
and you just keep stretching your hands for awards
when all you ever wanted was a family
with a couple of kids and a ranch house in the country
but maybe money was more important than that
than you'd ever imagined if that was me I'd give it all back
for a shot at raising my kids with a dad who comes home every night
to play tag and football or stay up and talk till morning light
and show them how to live when everything's falling apart
tell them that life requires a heart
that's gentle and kind
and love requires a caring mind
but if all that you want is the money and fame
then take it because you can have all that pain
I'd rather break my back
rather then watch my kids grow up on crack
without a father to show them what life's all about
even though I may never have political clout
in the world, what's the point anyway
of spending so much time dancing in someone else's play
why not build what you want and keep it
raise a couple of kids and have a wonderful wife,
somebody please tell me to preach it
preach that beautiful life
even though I may end up below the upper
I just want to be above the below and not a sucker
to the temptations of monetary gain
and the big rat race game
of the world as it turns and churns my life away
to the tune of 24 hours, or you can call it a day
get down to the basics
the minutes the seconds
and man our live's are flying faster than we can reckon with
we've only got the moment that we're in and then it's gone with the wish
that it could return
but it never will as long as the earth turns
so what will I do with the time I'm alive
well I know one thing for sure I'm never again going to cry
about how my life is flying to fast
because what a waste when you can't go back
just live for now and don't chase the things in this world so far
that you can't hop in a car
and drive home to the ones you really love in life
your kids and family your parents your wife
because no matter how much you want to change the world
it's never worth the price of that one special girl
who can love you more than money could ever afford
so even though we need the ones who want to rise above the crowd
I think some times they blow the "be famous" horn to loud
because you're famous to the ones who adore you
when you're there for them and in a crisis you're the one to run too
so if riches and fame can be obtained
without sacrificing people for the gain
then go for it and make your dreams happen
but remember that fame doesn't make a man
it's the blood and the sweat
of fighting the fight
of everyday life
and if that leads to glory
then don't worry
because we all have a purpose
yeah we all have a story
and a purpose to fulfill
just make sure that you do it within God's will